Friday, July 27, 2012

Keeping it together.


I think now is the perfect time to start writing this blog as I’m sitting here with this killer headache from the kids being terrible since the sun came up. All the screaming, fighting, tattling, spills, and back talks to this mother are just too much for me today. Let’s not forget about the dirty house that needs to be cleaned and supper that has to be cooked. One of my favorite things to do when I feel a “meltdown” coming on is to go to the spa and get my nails done. It is nice, quiet and serene which is the complete opposite of my house. I can usually leave there with enough rejuvenation to finish off my crazy day. Well, today is one of those days. As soon as Alan enters the premises I can’t leave fast enough. I get there to find out my nail guy is gone on vacation. Can you believe that? I mean how rude of him! I settled for someone else and was enjoying my pampering while rethinking my day and what I could have done differently at home and how terrible of a mom I am (I know, I know, Woe is me) when it happened. The door flung open and there stood a rambunctious two year old with his mother. I thought surely not…surely..i mean…this is a spa..she’s not going to stay. BUT NO she sat her happy tale in a chair and let her son run around acting a fool while she got her nails done. Oh no she didn’t!! Isn’t this what I just got away from? It should be illegal to take small kids into places like that. I could tell she was being that “fake” mom that we’ve been at some point using her calm, assertive voice with him. “Honey, please come sit down.” “Sweetie use your inside voice.” Of course he wasn’t listening to a thing she said. As I watched her I couldn’t tell if she was just stupid or desperate and I came to the conclusion that she was a little of both. I was just that mom dealing with her crazy kids a few moments earlier. It took all this happening to realize that all us moms are just one kid scream away from a break down. We hide it pretty well most days, but men have no idea how hard we have it. We as moms have to look good, get the kids off to school and home from school then do homework, sporting events, cook supper, clean house, manage the money, worry about birthday parties, work, do laundry and  do all of that with a smile on our face and be able to hold it together. Come on moms let’s be real, how many of you struggle daily to hold it together? How many of you feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown some days? How many of you cry at night after the kids go to bed because you feel like a bad mom? I’ll be honest with you I feel all those ways on most days. I did a little poll on facebook for fun to see what moms liked to do after a long hard day. I enjoyed reading all the different answers. To the moms that always put your kids first, take that bubble bath, watch your favorite tv show, have a girls night out, listen to your favorite music and don’t feel bad about it. It will make you a better mom for doing it. Our daughters need to see us taking time for ourselves so when they grow up to be moms they will do the same for themselves. So…“Heres to good women, may we know them, may we be them, my we raise them.”

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Lately I've been on a search for what "true" friends really are and how many do I have. Obviously I have a lot less than I thought I did. People that I thought were my friends have proven me wrong. We've all had those people in our lives before that have hurt & betrayed us when we thought we were friends. Why is at age 27 that I'm learning all this? Why is it that I always let my guard down and get taken advantage of? God has given me such a love for people, but I feel like I'm always getting hurt by them. How do I tell the difference between real or fake? I'm the kind of person that is all or nothing. There is no medium with me, so by the time I give my all it usually bites me in the butt. I am finally going to set standards. Friends stick by you in the good and the bad. They won't lie to you even if they know it might hurt you. Friends celebrate your victories and mourn your losses. They tell you that dress makes your butt look big & not let you walk around all day while all your fake friends laugh and talk about it. They talk you out of bad life decisions, but if you choose to do it anyway they still stand by you. We've all encountered​ those friends that have talked bad about us behind our backs or shared a secret they weren't supposed to, and I’m sure at some point we’ve been that shameful friend too. I am on a quest to figure out how to love regardless of the hurtful things that I know my friends may eventually do. The Lord has blessed me with a hand full of these real friends. One of which is my amazing husband who stands by me and encourages me no matter what (he just better never tell me a dress makes my butt look big.) C.S. Lewis once said, "friendship is unnecessary​ like.. philosophy​.. like art..it has no survival value. Rather it has one of those things that give value to survival." Our lives would be boring and mundane and our jail cells would probably be less empty without friendships. The question still lies where do I draw the line from getting hurt by others? The answers lie in my heart and my judgment. Why don't I trust myself more? We all have that gut feeling. I think if we used it more often we'd be better off. I am making a heart change. I will continue to love people. I will continue to help those in need. I will not however be taken advantage of anymore. I will not continue to let my heart be torn. There are many things in my life that are about to change, but this is just one of my first. Thank you for all my real friends that have stood by me and watched me make stupid mistakes and loved me at my best and worst.

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Continue to follow me on my life’s journey. I would love for all of you to be a part of all the wonderful things happening in my life and maybe even some of the bad. Until next time…
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