The Working Mom

The word "mom".. it means so much more than just being a caretaker. It means you're a chauffer, chef, maid, nurse, teacher and at times a referee to break up  those fights. I read a story one time about moms having three sets of eyes. One pair to see through closed doors and ask "what are yall doing in there?" even though we already know. Another pair in the back of the head to see things we shouldn't but need to know. The last pair in the front for when our children mess up we can say everything is going to be ok and I love you without even saying a word. I've said it a million times, but being a mom is the hardest job in the world. We don't get paid, never get time off and most days all our hard work goes unnoticed and we won't hear a  simple thank you. I used to think all of those things were the hardest part of being a mom but four kids later I realized that's the easy part. In my opinion the hardest part is the high standards we set for ourselves and then later the regret that follows it when we fall short. I don't know a single mom that goes a day without regretting or second guessing herself over a choice or a decision made about her child. "I wish I hadn't yelled at them for that." "I wish I had spent more time with them." "Did he really need to be spanked?" "Why am I such a bad mom?" How do we as moms get past the regrets, doubts, and lack of self assurance and become strong, confident and secure? We first have to stop comparing ourselves to other moms. I always ask myself, "Why can't I be more patient like her?" or "Why can't I be more creative like she is?" Truth is, the same moms that you want to be more like probably see something great in you and wish they had it too. God gave us all special gifts and talents to be the perfect mom to our children that meet their exact needs. However, there are two things the exact same for every mom. One, He gave us those motherly instincts so we'll know how to care for our children and secondly He commanded us to raise our children in His ways. I think God gives us special moments to let us know that we're doing this mothering thing right. When your kid reminds you to say the blessing before supper, when you get that random hug, kiss or "I love you" or when you see your child showing compassion or kindness to a friend or sibling or maybe even when they use their manners without being reminded. Those are the moments you need to remember when you're doubting yourself. Here are a few scriptures I use to help me when I need encouragement or questioning myself.
When I'm feeling regret-- "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth, shall you not know of it?..." Isaiah 43:18-19
When I feel bad for spanking-- "Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell." Proverbs 23:13-14
When I'm feeling tired and worn down-- "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
When I need encouragement-- "Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you. I will up hold you with my righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10
When I wonder if I'm teaching them right-- "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9
When I lay my head down at night I want to be confident that I did everything in my power to help my children spiritually, physically and emotionally grow. If I didn't that's ok too, because we're not perfect and we're going to mess up sometimes. I do know that no matter what I'm blessed with the four most beautiful, healthy children that God himself designed to be mine and all that's good enough for me.

learning

Sometimes things happen in our lives that we cannot explain or understand why God would allow. This past year, I have found myself asking the same question over and over again…why? I have been at my lowest, experienced such grief, such sorrow, hatred, believed all the lies the enemy could feed to one person, such despair and loneliness beyond compare. Why did God allow certain situation and circumstances to happen to me? Why did God hate me so much? I turned to every form of comfort the world had to offer me, instead of resting in the comfort that God was still in control no matter what. I spent so much time searching for answers that I was missing out on the lessons and blessings He was trying to teach me. “God has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never understand his wisdom, but we simply have to trust his will.” I’m not sure who said that, but oh how true it is. I cannot change my past. I cannot take back my mistakes. I cannot forget my past circumstances. I can however, lean on His everlasting arms. I can wake up every morning choosing to be the wife and mom He has called me to be. I can let my past shape me into the person God wants/calls me to be. I can show the love of Christ with others, even those that have harmed me. I’m sharing/confessing my testimony for two reasons. First, no matter how far you stray, no matter what you’re going through God has not left your side and never will. He will always be there waiting with open arms. Its pretty awesome that the maker of Heaven and Earth is the one that loves you more than life. Secondly, I believe one of the greatest gifts God can give to someone is the gift of life. Even through my sin and despair God has chosen to bless our family with another baby. We will be welcoming our precious, Naomi Jean into our family in June. I am beyond thankful that my husband has loved me as he’s been commanded to. He has definitely loved me with the same love that Christ has for His church. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to look back and be thankful for my past, but I know I will be thankful for the lessons and blessings I received because of it. Because of His love I can trade my ashes in for beauty, wear forgiveness like a crown and lay every burden at the foot of the cross. And now that I have gone through this valley I can stand upon the mountain of God.