The Working Mom

The word "mom".. it means so much more than just being a caretaker. It means you're a chauffer, chef, maid, nurse, teacher and at times a referee to break up  those fights. I read a story one time about moms having three sets of eyes. One pair to see through closed doors and ask "what are yall doing in there?" even though we already know. Another pair in the back of the head to see things we shouldn't but need to know. The last pair in the front for when our children mess up we can say everything is going to be ok and I love you without even saying a word. I've said it a million times, but being a mom is the hardest job in the world. We don't get paid, never get time off and most days all our hard work goes unnoticed and we won't hear a  simple thank you. I used to think all of those things were the hardest part of being a mom but four kids later I realized that's the easy part. In my opinion the hardest part is the high standards we set for ourselves and then later the regret that follows it when we fall short. I don't know a single mom that goes a day without regretting or second guessing herself over a choice or a decision made about her child. "I wish I hadn't yelled at them for that." "I wish I had spent more time with them." "Did he really need to be spanked?" "Why am I such a bad mom?" How do we as moms get past the regrets, doubts, and lack of self assurance and become strong, confident and secure? We first have to stop comparing ourselves to other moms. I always ask myself, "Why can't I be more patient like her?" or "Why can't I be more creative like she is?" Truth is, the same moms that you want to be more like probably see something great in you and wish they had it too. God gave us all special gifts and talents to be the perfect mom to our children that meet their exact needs. However, there are two things the exact same for every mom. One, He gave us those motherly instincts so we'll know how to care for our children and secondly He commanded us to raise our children in His ways. I think God gives us special moments to let us know that we're doing this mothering thing right. When your kid reminds you to say the blessing before supper, when you get that random hug, kiss or "I love you" or when you see your child showing compassion or kindness to a friend or sibling or maybe even when they use their manners without being reminded. Those are the moments you need to remember when you're doubting yourself. Here are a few scriptures I use to help me when I need encouragement or questioning myself.
When I'm feeling regret-- "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth, shall you not know of it?..." Isaiah 43:18-19
When I feel bad for spanking-- "Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell." Proverbs 23:13-14
When I'm feeling tired and worn down-- "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
When I need encouragement-- "Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you. I will up hold you with my righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10
When I wonder if I'm teaching them right-- "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9
When I lay my head down at night I want to be confident that I did everything in my power to help my children spiritually, physically and emotionally grow. If I didn't that's ok too, because we're not perfect and we're going to mess up sometimes. I do know that no matter what I'm blessed with the four most beautiful, healthy children that God himself designed to be mine and all that's good enough for me.

learning

Sometimes things happen in our lives that we cannot explain or understand why God would allow. This past year, I have found myself asking the same question over and over again…why? I have been at my lowest, experienced such grief, such sorrow, hatred, believed all the lies the enemy could feed to one person, such despair and loneliness beyond compare. Why did God allow certain situation and circumstances to happen to me? Why did God hate me so much? I turned to every form of comfort the world had to offer me, instead of resting in the comfort that God was still in control no matter what. I spent so much time searching for answers that I was missing out on the lessons and blessings He was trying to teach me. “God has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never understand his wisdom, but we simply have to trust his will.” I’m not sure who said that, but oh how true it is. I cannot change my past. I cannot take back my mistakes. I cannot forget my past circumstances. I can however, lean on His everlasting arms. I can wake up every morning choosing to be the wife and mom He has called me to be. I can let my past shape me into the person God wants/calls me to be. I can show the love of Christ with others, even those that have harmed me. I’m sharing/confessing my testimony for two reasons. First, no matter how far you stray, no matter what you’re going through God has not left your side and never will. He will always be there waiting with open arms. Its pretty awesome that the maker of Heaven and Earth is the one that loves you more than life. Secondly, I believe one of the greatest gifts God can give to someone is the gift of life. Even through my sin and despair God has chosen to bless our family with another baby. We will be welcoming our precious, Naomi Jean into our family in June. I am beyond thankful that my husband has loved me as he’s been commanded to. He has definitely loved me with the same love that Christ has for His church. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to look back and be thankful for my past, but I know I will be thankful for the lessons and blessings I received because of it. Because of His love I can trade my ashes in for beauty, wear forgiveness like a crown and lay every burden at the foot of the cross. And now that I have gone through this valley I can stand upon the mountain of God.

Wait a minute

 I’m going to learn you something. With the years I’ve spent being a waitress at restaurants I want to tell everyone the things that annoy me. Please pay close attention, maybe even take notes :)

1.     When a server approaches your table and asks you any kind of question, for the love of God please stop whatever you’re doing and answer. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked up to a table and asked things like, “Are yall doing ok?” “Do you need anything?”  And do not get any kind of response. It makes me feel incredibly stupid and angrty. Even if it’s a head nod just make sure you acknowledge my presence.

2.     Ok, always try to remember that on a normal basis you are not the only table the server has. Be observant of everything you might need so your sever can get everything you need in one trip. Example: Can I get a refill? Return with drink. Can I get some ranch? Return with ranch. Can my son get a refill? Return with drink again. Can I get some extra mayonnaise? At this point you really don’t want to know what I’m thinking, but as much as you would like to think my world revolves only around you..It doesn’t!  

3.     If a restaurant closes at 10:00 and you want to come in and eat at 9:45, annoying as it is, stay cautious of the time. Please do not sit around for an hour talking after you have already eaten. Remember the servers have families and things to do when they get home. I know I have to go home lay clothes out for the kids the next day for school, pack lunches, clean house, and when I’m in school do homework. Take your little party to the 24 hour Waffle House.

4.     Do not come in and sit down on your cell phone and act annoyed when the server doesn’t come up to you right away. I refuse, I mean refuse to walk up to a table if someone is sitting there on their phone. It is absolutely ridiculous and bugs me to no end. If you’re on the phone be prepared to sit there for a while because I’m not coming over to you. Deal with it. Better yet, I'll slip them my number and tell them to call me when they're ready to order.

5.     Do NOT I repeat do NOT ever pick your glass up and shake it at me to show me you are out of drink. I am probably very aware that your glass is empty and getting around to it, but again you are not the only table I have and will get to you soon.  If you choose to shake your glass at me anyway you are playing Russian Roulette with your life.  

6.     Lets take a minute to talk about tips. This mainly applies to senior citizens and teenagers. Servers make $2.13 an hour. Your $1 tip is not going to pay my power bill or feed my children. Just in case you thought you were doing a good deed with that measly dollar or two…you’re NOT. If you do not have the money to tip your server go through the Mcdonalds drive through and order yourself something off the dollar menu. Not only is it cheap, but you don’t have to tip and you increase your weight. Good times all around.

 

 

This blog is not over yet. There is plenty more where this came from. I know I tease a lot about it, but people please tip your servers accordingly. We work very hard and depend on each of you to pay our bills.

Food For Thought

Tonight I decided to make 2 new recipes that I've been wanting to try for a while that I found on Pintrest. I am so happy I did. They were both delicious. For supper we had a beef pasta bake. It was super easy and super yummy. It literally took 15 minutes to make. We all loved it except for my picky eater, John David. I'll be keeping this one in the recipe book. Then, for dessert I made a peanut butter cheerio no bake thing-a-ma-bob (yeah, I have no idea what to call it) but it was simply AMAZING. I took a cup of sugar and a cup for corn syrup and melted them together on the stove. I then added a teaspooon of vanilla and melted in a cup of peanut butter and 5 cups of cheerios. It kind of has the same "hard to stir" consistency as when you stir rice krispy treats. But OH MY GOSH it is sinfully good. It took under 10 minutes to conjur up.

John Daivd gave the beef pasta a thumbs down
I however gave it a thumbs up

Alan loved them the most :)

Random Rants

Ok, guys and gals I’m in one of those moods, so we’ll play a little game called, "let’s rant about things that annoy me."

1.     Driving down the road and spotting a man driving a truck with all the windows down and his shirt being OFF. There are so many things wrong with that picture that I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I have been violated by having to look at a toothless old man that feels like its ok to show off his beer belly as if he’s the prize hog at the fair. And it never fails that I get stuck by him at the red light. I feel compelled to stare and make my “stank face” at him to let him know of my disapproval, but I’m sure he’s thinking the stares mean otherwise.

2.     Flipping the radio stations and trying to find a good song to listen to and every single channel is a commercial. That annoys me to no end. Do they plan that? If I flip over to the country station to see whats playing over there you know I’m desperate. That’s just one more thing I love about satellite radio.

3.     Women who post on fb about how perfect their lives are. I hate reading about their perfect children and their perfect husbands and blah, blah, blah. Come on ladies! I’m a wife and a mom too. I know you are lying straight through your teeth.There is no such thing as a perfect life so why kid yourself. If that’s what you have to post about to make yourself feel better by all means do it, but just know I see right through you. Being a mom and wife is a hard job. I do it every day too, remember?

4.     Ok, now this one absolutely kills me. Why in the heck is the price of toilet paper so high?!?!? I get so mad every time I buy it. Why does something cost so much that I’m just going to wipe my butt with later and flush down the toilet? And the same goes for feminine products. I can’t get over this one. I could rant and rave forever about it. 

5.     And lastly on today’s rant list…IF I hear or see one more commercial using little kids to scream the message into the t.v. to buy something their daddy is selling I’m going to lose it. For one thing the kids aren’t even cute and for another thing why do they have to yell? It just doesn’t make any dang sense to me. I purposely avoid their place of business. I will not condone his business with such nonsense selling advertising tactics.

There are several more things I could add to this list, but I think I'll hold onto them for another day. I thought after my rant I would feel better, but I don't. I'm actually more annoyed by them. Whats a girl with a short fuse to do?

Keeping it together.

I think now is the perfect time to start writing this blog as I’m sitting here with this killer headache from the kids being terrible since the sun came up. All the screaming, fighting, tattling, spills, and back talks to this mother are just too much for me today. Let’s not forget about the dirty house that needs to be cleaned and supper that has to be cooked. One of my favorite things to do when I feel a “meltdown” coming on is to go to the spa and get my nails done. It is nice, quiet and serene which is the complete opposite of my house. I can usually leave there with enough rejuvenation to finish off my crazy day. Well, today is one of those days. As soon as Alan enters the premises I can’t leave fast enough. I get there to find out my nail guy is gone on vacation. Can you believe that? I mean how rude of him! I settled for someone else and was enjoying my pampering while rethinking my day and what I could have done differently at home and how terrible of a mom I am (I know, I know, Woe is me) when it happened. The door flung open and there stood a rambunctious two year old with his mother. I thought surely not…surely..i mean…this is a spa..she’s not going to stay. BUT NO she sat her happy tale in a chair and let her son run around acting a fool while she got her nails done. Oh no she didn’t!! Isn’t this what I just got away from? It should be illegal to take small kids into places like that. I could tell she was being that “fake” mom that we’ve been at some point using her calm, assertive voice with him. “Honey, please come sit down.” “Sweetie use your inside voice.” Of course he wasn’t listening to a thing she said. As I watched her I couldn’t tell if she was just stupid or desperate and I came to the conclusion that she was a little of both. I was just that mom dealing with her crazy kids a few moments earlier. It took all this happening to realize that all us moms are just one kid scream away from a break down. We hide it pretty well most days, but men have no idea how hard we have it. We as moms have to look good, get the kids off to school and home from school then do homework, sporting events, cook supper, clean house, manage the money, worry about birthday parties, work, do laundry and  do all of that with a smile on our face and be able to hold it together. Come on moms let’s be real, how many of you struggle daily to hold it together? How many of you feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown some days? How many of you cry at night after the kids go to bed because you feel like a bad mom? I’ll be honest with you I feel all those ways on most days. I did a little poll on facebook for fun to see what moms liked to do after a long hard day. I enjoyed reading all the different answers. To the moms that always put your kids first, take that bubble bath, watch your favorite tv show, have a girls night out, listen to your favorite music and don’t feel bad about it. It will make you a better mom for doing it. Our daughters need to see us taking time for ourselves so when they grow up to be moms they will do the same for themselves. So…“Heres to good women, may we know them, may we be them, my we raise them.”

Lately I've been on a search for what "true" friends really are and how many do I have. Obviously I have a lot less than I thought I did. People that I thought were my friends have proven me wrong. We've all had those people in our lives before that have hurt & betrayed us when we thought we were friends. Why is at age 27 that I'm learning all this? Why is it that I always let my guard down and get taken advantage of? God has given me such a love for people, but I feel like I'm always getting hurt by them. How do I tell the difference between real or fake? I'm the kind of person that is all or nothing. There is no medium with me, so by the time I give my all it usually bites me in the butt. I am finally going to set standards. Friends stick by you in the good and the bad. They won't lie to you even if they know it might hurt you. Friends celebrate your victories and mourn your losses. They tell you that dress makes your butt look big & not let you walk around all day while all your fake friends laugh and talk about it. They talk you out of bad life decisions, but if you choose to do it anyway they still stand by you. We've all encountered​ those friends that have talked bad about us behind our backs or shared a secret they weren't supposed to, and I’m sure at some point we’ve been that shameful friend too. I am on a quest to figure out how to love regardless of the hurtful things that I know my friends may eventually do. The Lord has blessed me with a hand full of these real friends. One of which is my amazing husband who stands by me and encourages me no matter what (he just better never tell me a dress makes my butt look big.) C.S. Lewis once said, "friendship is unnecessary​ like.. philosophy​.. like art..it has no survival value. Rather it has one of those things that give value to survival." Our lives would be boring and mundane and our jail cells would probably be less empty without friendships. The question still lies where do I draw the line from getting hurt by others? The answers lie in my heart and my judgment. Why don't I trust myself more? We all have that gut feeling. I think if we used it more often we'd be better off. I am making a heart change. I will continue to love people. I will continue to help those in need. I will not however be taken advantage of anymore. I will not continue to let my heart be torn. There are many things in my life that are about to change, but this is just one of my first. Thank you for all my real friends that have stood by me and watched me make stupid mistakes and loved me at my best and worst.

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Continue to follow me on my life’s journey. I would love for all of you to be a part of all the wonderful things happening in my life and maybe even some of the bad. Until next time…

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